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Loss and Grieving

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As you and the people around you grow older, loss will become more common. It may be a spouse, a parent, a child, or a beloved pet. Grief is a healthy response to any loss. You may feel sad and depressed. You may also feel anger, shock, denial, or guilt. Physical symptoms can include dizziness, fast heartbeat, hyperventilating, or nausea. All of these are normal and vary from person to person.

While you are dealing with the loss, treat yourself kindly. Make sure you get enough sleep. Eat a well-balanced diet. Avoid alcohol. Exercising can help, if you are able. Don't imagine what you "should" be feeling. Allow yourself to cry, be angry, or however you feel. Talk to others about your loss. You may even want to find a support group.

The amount of time spent grieving also varies. You may start to feel a little better within 6 to 8 weeks. The whole process can take anywhere from 6 months to several years. However, if you have a lot of trouble eating, sleeping, concentrating, or doing other daily activities for more than the first two to three weeks, talk to you doctor. These could be indications of an episode of depression. Expect that you may experience set backs on holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries.

If you feel like you can't cope, get help from a friend, family member, clergy member, counselor, doctor, or support group.

Additional Resources

Publications

1.   Women's Mental Health — This special section of womenshealth.gov provides information on taking care of your mental health throughout the different stages of your life. It also links to information on mental health for men, girls, and people with a chronic illness or disability.

   http://www.womenshealth.gov/mh/

2.   Age Page: Mourning the Death of a Spouse — This fact sheet for older Americans describes what you can do to help yourself feel better when grieving the death of a spouse.

   http://www.nia.nih.gov/HealthInformation/Publications/spouse.htm

3.   Older Adults: Depression and Suicide Facts — This Web site discusses depression and suicide facts among older adults and ways in which depression can be treated.

   http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/older-adults-depression-and-suicide-facts.shtml...

4. Coping with Loss: Bereavement and Grief (Copyright © MHA) — This publication provides information on what to expect after the loss of a loved one. It discusses mourning, dealing with a major loss, living with grief, helping others grieve, and looking to the future.

   http://mentalhealthamerica.net/index.cfm?objectid=C7DF9618-1372-4D20-C807F41CB3E97654...

5. Death of an Adult Child (Copyright © The Compassionate Friends) — This site discusses the grief that can be caused by losing an adult child.

   http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Other_Pages/Death_of_an_Adult_Child.aspx

6. On Being Alone: A Guide for the Newly Widowed (Copyright © AARP) — This article provides several things to consider as you mourn your spouse and encourages you to still remain physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy.

   http://www.aarp.org/families/grief_loss/a2004-11-15-newlywidowed.html

7. Seven Choices of Grief (Copyright © AARP) — This publication highlights the fact that everyone grieves differently and, with that in mind, it discusses the seven choices of the grieving process.

   http://www.aarp.org/families/grief_loss/a2004-11-15-sevenchoices.html

8. The Grief of Grandparents (Copyright © The Compassionate Friends) — This publication provides information on the stages of grief and how you can cope with the loss of a grandchild.

   http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Other_Pages/The_Grief_of_Grandparents.aspx

Organizations

1.   National Institute of Mental Health, NIH, HHS
2.   National Mental Health Information Center, SAMHSA, HHS
3. AGS Foundation for Health in Aging
4. American Association of Retired Persons (AARP)
5. Bereaved Parents of the USA
6. Geriatric Mental Health Foundation
7. Grief Recovery Institute
8. The Compassionate Friends

= Indicates Federal Resources

Content last updated March 5, 2009.