Raising Children Again << Caregiving << Healthy Aging << womenshealth.gov

Raising Children Again

Anyone with children can tell you that raising them is a challenge. Grandparents have already met that challenge once with their own children. But now many are called upon to meet it again with the next generation. According to the 2000 U.S. Census, 4.5 million children are living in grandparent-headed homes. This is a 30 percent increase from 1990. Most grandparents raising grandchildren are between 55 and 64. Almost 25 percent are over 65. Also, a growing number are far more likely to be persons of color, living in poverty. For these and other reasons, parenting a second time can be even harder. The grandparents are older than the first time they parented and may have less energy. Also, the reasons for having to parent a grandchild often involve traumatic events.

Why are grandparents raising so many U.S. children? According to the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), reasons include:

Drugs and alcohol problems in the home

Mental illness in the home

Parent(s) in jail

Death of a parent

Poverty in the home

Divorce of parents

Child abuse and neglect in the home

Teen pregnancy

Parent(s) living with HIV/AIDS

Domestic violence in the home

Military deployment of parent(s)

Grandmothers caring for or raising grandchildren suffer more stress and depression than grandmothers who aren’t caregivers. These are older women who may have health needs of their own. So caring for a grandchild who may have health problems, developmental challenges, or an increased need for care creates more stress for these grandmothers.

Age Matters

The age of the grandchildren can be a factor, too. Younger children are more physically demanding. But, older children are often more emotionally and mentally demanding. You may be willing, and even eager, to raise your grandchildren. But no matter how much you love them, your life will change. Keep these ideas in mind:

Always put your physical and emotional health first. Getting enough exercise, relaxing, eating a healthy diet, limiting alcohol, making time for fun, and humor are all important.

Don't be embarrassed to ask for help. If you need support, find a local support group, religious community, or good friends who understand.

Find out what services are available for you and your grandchild in your community, including financial, legal, educational, and free or low-cost counseling.

Benefits Available

Public benefits available to grandparents and the children they raise vary from state to state. Benefits that may be available include:

Temporary Assistance for Needy Family (TANF)

Supplemental Security Income

Social Security

Dependents' Benefits – This special supplemental food program for women, infants, and children (WIC) can help you buy food for eligible grandchildren in your care. The child must be five years old or younger. He or she must also be at risk for poor nutrition. Visit the WIC web site to find your state's toll-free number.

Medicaid

Guardianship Subsidies – Some states have programs that give financial assistance to grandparents who are the legal guardian of a child. However, not all states provide this option. The AARP State Fact Sheet for Grandparents and Other Relatives Raising Children provides a list of state support services and benefits available to you.

Legal Rights – Many grandparents find they need legal help when making decisions about their grandchildren. If you can’t afford a lawyer, try your local legal aid office, court clerk office, or law school clinic for help. You can also go to the American Bar Association web site for a directory of legal aid offices in your area.

Additional Resources

Publications

Fact Sheet — Caregiver Stress — This publication provides tips for relieving the stress of caregivers, as well as types of support that are available.

http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/caregiver-stress.cfm

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Part I — Many older Americans approaching or in retirement find themselves caring for and raising their grandchildren. This fact sheet provides information about caring for your grandchildren's health and safety.

http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cfocus/cfgrandparents03/focus.htm

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Part II — This publication provides information on vehicle safety for children and teens and discusses financial assistance options for grandparents who are raising their grandchildren.

http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cfocus/cfgrandparents03/focus2.htm

Grandparent's Guide: Caring for the Caregiver (Copyright © Beatitutes Center D.O.A.R.) — This publication provides a checklist that can help you understand how much pressure and stress you feel in your role as a grandparent caring for your grandchildren. It also gives tips to help you manage your stress level.

http://www.lawhelp.org/documents/129371grandp_care.html?stateabbrev=/AZ/

Grandparent's Guide: Legal and Financial Concerns (Copyright © Beatitudes Center D.O.A.R.) — This publication provides information on the financial stress and legal concerns for grandparents raising their grandchildren. It discusses custody issues and advance directives.

http://www.lawhelp.org/documents/129341grandp_legal.html?stateabbrev=/AZ/

Grandparent's Guide: Parenting Issues (Copyright © Beatitudes Center D.O.A.R.) — This publication for grandparent's raising their grandchildren provides information on several parenting issues: effective communication, discipline, building self esteem, child abuse, behavior issues, school, and day care.

http://www.lawhelp.org/documents/129361grandp_parent.html?stateabbrev=/AZ/

Grandparenting (Copyright © AARP) — This site provides links to informational articles for grandparents on caring for and raising grandchildren. It also provides information on choosing toys, saving for college, and sharing time together.

http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/

Grandparents and other relatives raising children: caregiver support groups (Copyright © Generations United) — This fact sheet is intended to provide information on the growing networks of caregiver support groups for grandparents and other relatives raising children throughout the United States, and on other available resources for starting a support group.

http://www.gu.org/documents/A0/Caregiver_Support_Groups.pdf

Grandparents and Other Relatives Raising Children:Housing Needs and Challenges (Copyright © Generations United) — This fact sheet provides information about a specific type of housing program for grandparents and other relatives raising children, as limited availability of adequate affordable housing is one of the primary difficulties these caregivers face.

http://www.gu.org/documents/A0/Housing.pdf

Grandparents and Other Relatives Raising Children:Their Inclusion in the National Family Caregiver Support Program (Copyright © Generations United) — This fact sheet is intended to provide an overview of the provisions of the NFCSP and an idea of what some AAAs around the country are doing to help grandparents and their families.

http://www.gu.org/documents/A0/NFCSP_2007.pdf

Parenting Again (Copyright © University of Illinois) — This newsletter is intended for grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. Each issue provides articles on raising children with topics that range from nutrition and exercise to communication and financial issues.

http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/grandparents/

Organizations

= Indicates Federal Resources

Content last updated March 5, 2009.